


Love Will Tear Us Apart

by allhailthehutch



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-03
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-02-27 23:31:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2710691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allhailthehutch/pseuds/allhailthehutch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 17 years old. Peeta and I have been captured by the Capitol. They are holding us prisoner. I wish we were dead. I need to make sure Peeta survives. I don't know what they have planned. We're never getting out here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I open my eyes and all I see is darkness. There isn't a hint of light to be found. Where am I? This isn't the arena. I don't smell the fresh saltwater from the beach anymore.

The lightning. The tree. Peeta screaming my name over and over again. 

All these jumbled memories swirl around in my brain, and I can't make sense of it. My head is throbbing with a pain I've never felt before. It radiates throughout my entire body. My muscles burn from the last few days in the arena. 

When I shot my arrow at the forcefield, everything fell apart instantly. His name was the only word that left my lips. I needed to find Peeta. He needed to survive. 

Did I find him? I remember stumbling blindly through the smoke, desperately searching for him. 

I wish I could remember, but this damn headache makes it impossible. Am I dead? Is this what it feels like? I feel dead. If Peeta didn't make it then I hope I am dead.

"Katniss?" I hear Peeta's frantic voice from across the dark room. "Are you here?"

Instant relief washes over my battered body. Peeta. I feel the tears well up in my eyes. He's safe. He's alive. He's here with me. 

"I'm here, Peeta. Are you okay?"

"I think so." He pauses for a second before continuing, "My head hurts and they took off my prosthetic." 

"I can't remember anything, Peeta." My memory is so foggy right now. Was I drugged? It feels like it, but I can't know for sure. "Can you come over here?"

"I can't." His voice trembles in a way that is so unlike the Peeta I know. He's strong and protective, but now he sounds like a terrified child. "I'm — they have me handcuffed to the wall."

My hands are free. I'm able to move, but why can't Peeta? I stand up slowly, my legs still shaky from being immobile for however long we've been here. 

"Stay right where you are, Miss Everdeen."

President Snow. His voice sends a shiver down my spine. I was right when I wished for death. It would have been kinder. 

The room illuminates with a bright, blinding light. My eyes sting from the unfamiliarity of it. Peeta's in the corner looking around nervously. 

I slide back down the wall and curl up in a ball. This can't be happening. The crackling of the intercom makes me want to throw up. All I want is to escape Snow, but now I'm his prisoner.

"The Star Crossed Lovers of District Twelve are now citizens of the Capitol," he chuckles to himself. "I hope you enjoy the welcome party that I have planned for you."

It's Peeta who speaks first. "Kill me and let Katniss go home."

"You are home, Mr. Mellark," President Snow reminds him. I can almost see the snide smile on his lips. "I always knew you would be a wonderful asset to the Capitol, but having Katniss Everdeen by your side will make this all the more... pleasurable."

Peeta lunges forward, yanking on his restraints. I've never seen him like this. The crazed look in his eyes terrifies me. "You won't lay a hand on her! I'll fucking kill you."

"Surrender yourself to the luxuries of the Capitol, Peeta."

I can't stop shaking. We are prisoners of the place I hate the most. They took us from the arena, and now we are their property. 

"Please, just let her go." His crystal blue eyes fill with tears. Haymitch was right. I don't deserve him. I'll never be good enough for someone like Peeta. 

"Sleep while you can." The lights dim in our room. "I look forward to speaking with you again."

The darkness consumes me once more. I close my eyes and let the tears fall. This wasn't supposed to happen. How did I end up here? 

I hear Peeta's cries, and I slowly crawl over to him. No one stops me this time. I curl up in his lap and rest my head on his chest. 

"I won't let anything bad happen to you." He kisses my forehead, and the gesture brings a calming warmth to my bones. "I promised myself that I would protect you, and that's what I'm gonna do."

I quiet him with a kiss. It feels so natural now, our lips pressed together. The idea used to feel so foreign to me, but now I crave his kisses and gentle touch. Especially know when I'm not sure what the future holds for us.

"We're survivors, Peeta. It's going to be fine. We are going to be fine." 

I'm not sure I believe my own words, but I need to tell Peeta that it's going to be okay. He can't die for me. I won't let him.


	2. Chapter 2

"There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It's caused by the absence of you."

My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 17 years old. Peeta and I have been captured by the Capitol. They are holding us prisoner. I need to make sure Peeta survives. I don't know what they have planned. I'm afraid we're never getting out of here.

I don't know what time it is. They keep the room dimly lit, and there are no windows. I'm exhausted. I haven't had anything to eat in days. President Snow does make sure that we get water, but other than that, we are left cold and hungry. 

I'm not unfamiliar with that ache in my stomach that tells my body that I'm in desperate need of food. I spent a good part of my life starving. 

Peeta shifts beside me. He's still shackled to the wall, while I remain free to roam around. I'm not sure what the purpose of that is, but President Snow always has a reason for his actions. I don't know how Peeta manages to sleep, but the soft snores I hear tell me that he's finding a way. 

I can't sleep. I'm worried that the second I close my eyes, Peeta will be ripped away from me. I had never planned on feeling this way about him, but I slowly opened my heart and found that loving him is easier than breathing. I'm still prepared to die for him. It was my plan going into the Quell and nothing has changed.

We are still playing the game after all. 

"Katniss," he whispers, still asleep. "Katniss, are you there?"

I brush the matted curls off his forehead and gently press my lips to his warm flesh. "I'm here, Peeta."

His eyes flutter open slowly. No matter what situation we find ourselves in, nothing can take away the bright, clear appearance of his sky blue eyes. It takes him a few seconds to remember where we are. "I dreamed we were back home."

"We'll be back there soon enough," I reassure him the best I can. He smiles sadly. "How are your wrists?"

The metal chafing against his wrists for days has left his skin raw and red. "I've survived worse," Peeta says, motioning to his missing leg with a bitter laugh. 

"That's not funny."

"I know, but what else am I supposed to say?" he asks, sitting up straighter.

I shrug, tucking my knees into my chest. "Peeta, if — look, if things get bad, I want you to make me a promise."

"Shut up," he says through gritted teeth, not meeting my eyes. 

"I need you to promise me that it will be you." I blink away the tears stinging my eyes. I've been holding them back for too long. "Please just... you know my limit better than anyone."

Peeta lifts his head slowly. I’ve never seen this kind of anger on his face before. "I won't kill you, Katniss." He yanks on his handcuffs again. "I won't kill the only person in my life that I've ever truly loved."

Love. Peeta's never said it before. I was always afraid he would, but he never did. He respected my feelings and never pushed whatever it is that we have together, but now all my feelings have become so much clearer. 

I care about Peeta in ways that terrify me. He's all I have in this place. I need him. The chances of us getting out of the Capitol alive are slim to none. 

"I'm afraid they are going to take you from me," I confess timidly. "I can't live without you, Peeta. You are the only person that understands what it's like to survive." I don't even mention Haymitch. Who knows if he's alive. 

My body aches for Peeta's arms to hold me. He brings me comfort when I need it most. "I'm not going anywhere," he replies.

"Do you really... you know..." I hesitate. Why can't I do this? It shouldn't be this hard. 

"I really love you, Katniss," he says with a boyish grin. "I always loved the idea of you, but now it's different. You are my best friend, and I love you. I'm yours forever."

I'm about to answer him when the lights brighten and two large Peacekeepers rush over to us. One grabs me, pulling me away from Peeta. 

"No, please!" I beg as the other Peacekeeper uncuffs Peeta and drags him to the door. It's all happening so fast. I can't get to him. "Don't hurt him! Take me instead!"

The metal door slams with a loud clunk, and I scream. He's gone! They took him from me! I try and wiggle free from the guard, but he's stronger than me, and I haven't eaten in days. "Kill me, please."

I hear his laugh over the intercom, and I freeze. "There are worse things in life than death, Miss Everdeen," President Snow says coldly. "I'm sure you will see that soon enough."

And then it's dark.

I wake up in a different room than before. It's bright and warm. The bed I'm laying in is soft. It makes me forget for a split second that I'm not home. I'm not safe. I'm a prisoner of the Capitol. 

Peeta. 

Where did they take him? What's happening? I can still see his face as they dragged him out of the door. He couldn't fight them. If they killed him, I hope it was quick and painless. The thought of Peeta suffering makes me sick.

The door of the room opens slowly, and I wait for them to take me back to my cell. But then I see her and my heart stops. I never thought I would see her again.

Effie?

She makes her way over to me with open arms and a teary smile. "Katniss," she hugs me tightly. "I can't believe you are here and that you're okay!"

"Effie, what's going on? Where is Peeta?" I need answers. No one has told me anything since I woke up in that cell. They took Peeta from me, and now I'm in this room with Effie.

She pulls away from with me a frown. I notice she's still dressing in her normal, extravagant attire. A bright orange dress that reminds me of Peeta and his favorite color. He wouldn't like this orange. It's loud. When my eyes fall on her gold colored hair I remember Peeta's locket, how he told me that nobody needed him. It makes my heart hurt. He has to be okay. 

"Peeta's just fine. You don't have to worry about him," Effie responds. I narrow my eyes suspiciously. "Don't give me that look, Katniss. I can only tell you so much. You need to understand and trust me."

How can I trust her? She shows up in this room after I've been locked up and been a prisoner for however long. "Why didn't they just kill me? I destroyed the arena."

"President Snow has plans for you," she whispers, looking around the room nervously. "I can't tell you everything right now, but promise me that you will listen and not question me."

I nod wordlessly. "Effie, where's Haymitch?"

"I assume he's drunk somewhere in District Thirteen," she mutters. My eyes widen and Effie covers her mouth, seeming to regret her choice of words. "Katniss, after you shot that arrow everything fell apart. I wasn't involved with any planning, but apparently there was some type of rebellion brewing, and you were their mission."

I knew things were bad in the districts, but I never could have imagined it would get this far. A rebellion? "You were supposed to be rescued, but they lost sight of you when you went back for Peeta." She motions to the large cut in my arm from Johanna. "Your tracker was gone, but Peeta still had his intact."

"I wasn't going to leave him!" I say loudly, causing her to wince. 

Effie sighs dramatically. "I know that, Katniss and so did President Snow." I can barely wrap my head around all this information. How could they not include me in their plan? What would have happened if I didn't go back for Peeta? He would be here all by himself making it impossible for me to protect him. "They were waiting for you to reunite with Peeta and captured you both as soon you found him."

"You still haven't told me where Peeta is."

Effie stands up from her spot next to me with a huff. "He's getting ready for his interview with Caesar, and you will need to do the same." She glances at the clock on the wall. "We are on a very tight schedule."

"Effie, this really makes no sense. I'm not moving until you tell me what's going on." I cross my arms over my chest with a scowl. She hates when I don't follow her instructions.

"You have certain obligations that need to be fulfilled, and I'm here to make sure everything goes off without a hitch." She smiles at me, but I see a trace of sadness that was never there before. "You and Peeta are beloved here in the Capitol and President Snow wants to calm things down."

"We tried this already and it failed," I remind her, remembering how President Snow told me that I needed to convince him I was in love with Peeta. 

"Something changed in that arena, Katniss." She places her hand against my cheek. "You showed him how you truly feel about Peeta."

I want to cry, but it won't help me feel better. "What does he want from us?"

"Simply put, he wants you to be the happy couple everyone thinks you are." Effie flips through the racks of clothes set out for me on the other side of the room. "Peeta is already being prepped for a political career and you will need to stand by his side."

I shake my head. "There's no way Peeta would agree to this." Are they going to torture him till he agrees? "I can't perform for these people, Effie. You know I'm terrible at reading from a script."

"That's what Peeta is for, dear." Right, how could I forget? He has always been the reason why I come off more likable than I actually am. "He understands what is expected of him, and everything will be fine."

If agreeing to what President Snow demands will keep Peeta safe and out of harm’s way, then I'll play my part. "Alright, I guess I need to get ready."

"It's going to be okay," she reassures me with a kind smile. "You just need to go out there and smile. Peeta will take care of the rest."

I let out the deep breath I've been holding since Effie walked through the door. As far as I'm concerned, Peeta and I are still in the Games, and I'm going to do whatever is necessary to keep him alive. 

It only takes about an hour to get me camera ready. The prep team assigned to me complained about the dark circles under my eyes and the paleness of my skin, but with all their fancy makeup and body cream, I'm left looking healthy and rejuvenated. 

The outfit chosen for me is a cream colored dress that falls to my knees. It's much different than anything Cinna would have designed for me. It's very plain, and I'm sure it doesn't come with flames. 

I still haven't seen Peeta. They won't let me talk with him beforehand. The setting for this interview is much different than the ones I am familiar with. I don't see an audience full of strange looking people. It's just a room. 

It's a small, extravagantly decorated room with one chair and a sofa. The Peacekeepers guard the doors. I guess they figure I may try to run. They must find me to be a major threat to security. My time for running is over. Caesar smiles at me excitedly from his chair, and I do my best to return it. He doesn't say anything, but shuffles through his cards. 

Peeta still isn't here. Did something happen? Maybe he refused and fought back. What if they killed him, and Caesar is going to deliver the bad news on live television? I wouldn't put it past President Snow. 

The door that I came through opens slowly. My breath hitches in my throat. It has to be him. 

My heart stops when I see him. Peeta looks healthy and vibrant. There's no evidence that he was locked up in a dark cell for days. I look at him and search for any kind of mark from a beating, but there's nothing. He looks perfect. 

I stand from the sofa, wrapping my arms around him in relief. "Peeta, I was so worried!"

He doesn't hug me like before. I immediately notice something is different, but then I tell myself we have been through a lot. "It's okay," he speaks softly, but I don't hear the sincerity in his voice. I can feel his arms around me and hear his voice, but my Peeta feels a hundred miles away. "They took really good care of me. I even got a new, better false leg."

I pull away from our hug and search his eyes for any sign of distress. Outwardly, Peeta seems to be perfectly fine, but I can't shake the sense that something's different. His eyes seem bluer to me, but maybe I've just forgotten what they look like. "What's wrong? What aren't you telling me?"

He laughs, shaking his head. "I'm fine, Katniss." Peeta reaches for my hand and squeezes it tightly. "I have so much to tell you, but first we need to take care of this interview. You think you can do that for me?"

I nod. Peeta smiles back and my stomach churns. Why is he acting so calm? A few days ago he was screaming and begging to die, but now he seems... content. He must have been threatened. That's the only explanation for this behavior. 

We both sit, Peeta still holding on tightly to my hand. The smile he was wearing hasn't faltered. "Ladies and Gentlemen, I would like to welcome back my two favorite people in the world," Caesar announces, then turns from the camera to face us. "Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark!"

And so it begins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for reading and reviewing! you guys can find me on tumblr @ jushutcherson


	3. Chapter 3

It’s all a game, I repeat the mantra over and over again as Caesar makes his introductions. This is survival. Peeta holds my hand, but I feel as if he’s a million miles away. I don't feel the same warmth radiating from his skin. He feels cold and distant. 

“Peeta, did you think that once again you and Katniss would both make it out of the arena?” Caesar asks softly. 

Peeta chuckles, shaking his head. I noticed that not one piece of hair is out of place. "Honestly, I hoped that we would get lucky again, but I was prepared to die for Katniss and our baby." Peeta rests his hand on my flat stomach. My breath catches in my throat. 

I forgot all about his lie. Peeta wanted to stop the Games, but even the idea of me being pregnant couldn't convince Snow to put an end to the Games. Peeta wanted to save my life but it's going to be my downfall. Snow's cruelty knows no bounds. 

Caesar nods his head and I swear I see tears forming in his eyes. "How are things, Katniss? Are you ready to be a mother?"

I look to Peeta, who only can give me a slight nod of his head to indicate that I need to answer and be convincing.Our survival depends on how well I answer these questions. 

I say, "I can't wait to hold our baby in my arms. I didn't think this was something I wanted, but with Peeta...I want everything." I choke back the sob in my throat. My tears aren't for show. I'm crying because I realize what will be expected of me. I'm going to need to have a baby. Peeta's baby. 

That would be the ultimate punishment from President Snow. I can't imagine anything more horrible than bringing a baby into this world. I'm sure Peeta never expected this would happen. He wouldn't have told that lie if he knew what President Snow was going to do. 

Caesar pats my arm, in some feeble attempt to comfort me, but I know he's thrilled about the idea of a baby from the Star-Crossed Lovers. "You've been through so much, Katniss." 

I sniffle. "It's been tough, but the Capitol has showered Peeta and me with such wonderful hospitality."

Peeta gives me a reassuring nod. "Katniss and I have been so lucky. We're happy to be here."

I try to find comfort in Peeta's words, but his hollow tone and vacant expression leaves me terrified. What did they do to him while we were separated? I need someone, maybe Effie, to tell me what is going on. 

The rest of the interview is a blur. Peeta does most of the talking while I sit and listen, nodding my head occasionally to show that I'm paying attention and that I agree. Hopefully,Snow is happy with us and that I don't have to be locked back up in that cell, but with the Capitol you never truly know where you stand. 

After the interview finishes, Peeta rests his hand on my cheek, a smile dancing on his pink lips. "Are you okay? I know you hate these interviews." 

"I'm fine, Peeta," I reassure him, with a pathetic excuse for a smile. "How about you? What happened when they took you?"

His eyes flash with anger as he presses his finger to my lips to silence me. "Katniss, we can't talk about that here." I bite my lip, almost drawing blood. "I promise that everything will be explained, but you need to stay quiet and listen to the instructions that are given to you. President Snow is always listening and watching."

I nod wordlessly. Two large Peacekeepers stand behind Peeta, waiting. "The President needs to see you, Mr. Mellark," one of them says.

Peeta presses a soft kiss to my forehead. "I'll see you later?" he asks hopefully. 

"Come find me. I'll be waiting." I watch with a pain in my heart as the Peacekeepers escort Peeta out of room and away from me. No one can tell me where he's going. I've given up asking. They want me to be kept in the dark. He goes quietly this time—they don't have to drag him out kicking and screaming. 

Effie appears almost out of nowhere, with her usual bright, happy smile. "Katniss, you did absolutely wonderful," she tells me excitedly. "You and Peeta really are such a darling couple."

I want to hate her for how she behaves, but it's just Effie and she's doing a job. She might be my only ally here and I need to find out what else she knows, if she even know anything at all.

"Am I really going to have a baby?" 

The thought alone terrifies me, but maybe something can be done. I can't have a baby. I won't. 

She sighs loudly, a frown forming on her face. "Why don't we go back to your room and I'll explain to you what I can?"

* * * * 

I can barely stand when I see him sitting on my bed, nursing a bottle of white liquor. "Haymitch? I thought...how?"

He takes a sip from the bottle, chuckling. "I've been asking myself that since I got here. Thankfully, they provide me with plenty of delicious refreshments." He holds up the bottle, with a grin. 

Effie huffs behind me. "You are unbelievable!" She scolds him with her best attempt at a scowl. "You were always a terrible mentor."

Haymitch ignores Effie's outburst and continues to drink his liquor. "I saw your interview," he finally says. "Once again, Peeta had to save your ass."

"I don't know what I'm doing here!" I yell back in defense. "One minute Peeta and I are locked up in some kind of prison and then we are being interviewed by Caesar like nothing even happened." I want answers. Someone needs to tell me what's going on. I need to know that Peeta is okay. "I can tell you what I know," he tells me. "The rest is just speculation."

"Why am I still alive? Why didn't President Snow kill me?"

He lets out a deep breath, frustration showing on his face. "You were supposed to be the face of the rebellion, but Snow got to you first. He's going to use you and Peeta to form a new, improved Capitol. Peeta's going to be in office and you will stand by his side...the faithful wife and mother."

"He can't....I don't believe you,"I stutter. "They can't make us do this. Peeta...he wouldn't."

Haymitch rests a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I'm afraid Peeta doesn't have a choice and neither do you."

"Why are you here? Are you supposed to make sure we do what we are told?" I spit back angrily. 

He shrugs, sipping his liquor. "I'm here for moral support."

"They are doing something to Peeta," I say softly. "I'm sure of it. He was so distant today. There's something wrong."

All I want is for Peeta to be safe and unharmed. I need to know that he's going to be fine. "I don't know anything, but I'll try to figure out what's going on," he reassures me. "We are going to get through this. I promise."

I blink away the salty tears as Haymitch embraces me in a tight hug. I'm so thankful that he's here and that I'm not alone. We victors always suffer together.

"Will Snow really make me have a baby?" I almost vomit at the thought of it.

Haymitch says nothing but continues to drink more. I guess that’s my answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and reviewing! I love you guys. Come find me on tumblr jushutcherson.


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